I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
They left me at home... I'm a liability
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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