i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
