Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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