I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
