Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
