Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
the day after is always just damage control
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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