he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you win again, gameday.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
