Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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