Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
