Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
