Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
