This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
