the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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