i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
