I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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