Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Randomize
