I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
