where am i from again
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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