Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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