I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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