He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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