We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
