Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
