We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
