it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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