We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
