I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
