i think my tv is drunk
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
