I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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