Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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