please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
