Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
A bitchslap is in order.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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