No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
