I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
