I CAN MOONWALK!
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
