and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
