I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
