I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
