Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
