so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
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