I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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