escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
