Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I intend to get homeless drunk
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
