walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We had sex on a dog bed..
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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