Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
