I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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