hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
even my farts smell like vagina
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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