He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
