Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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