3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
