dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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