He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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